At a moment I felt so depressed. Why? Well.. When a person knew that he/she lost their hope in chasing their dreams or the chances they actually have didn't appreciate it earlier, is just plain fuckup! It's like no point you're living in this modernize world when you're actually clueless about ur future plans. Whatever u planned earlier vanished just by a blink! What im trying to say?
Few years ago, I tried to think what's my biggest regret in my life. U see.. Everyone's life is filled with regrets. Regret for not studying well to get straight A's in PMR/SPM if not ur life right now would be way better than ur current life. Regret for not listening to ur parents advices. Regret that u didn't treasured the moment with ur loved ones. Regret that u didn't to this, u didn't do that and blah blah blah..
In my case, I regret for not treasuring the time properly. What I meant is that.. I didn't use the time properly to really sit down and think about what I wanna be next time (career). And by the time I knew what I really want to be... It's tooo late! And I really hope that time can travel back to the past. FYI, I wanted to be an air stewardess :) and fyi, my height is just 154cm (i think) :( and if u really know me well, U will know how much I really love to travel!
Yes, besides that I know there's many options that able for me to travel around the world. Like tour guide.. but I hate it. And even if you're studying in business course or designing course or whatsoever, the company will not be able to let u travel as much as the cabin crew or pilot.
Everytime when I think about it.. my mood goes to 0. Sometimes I even cried. And everytime when I saw my friends going for piloting or cabin crew, I envy them. And everytime when I saw them posted up where are they right now, I angry at myself. I know there's no point hating myself for it but what can I do? Even my brother knew how much I love about this career, he also told me to let go of it.. and try to go for other sector ( well, he used to have the same problem as I do). So I tried to take Marketing. Follow what my bro did. Yes, now they just taught me about the basic foundation of Marketing. But it's ald so hard. I tried to understand it but I can't. Since it's just basic but how I'm gonna go for degree in Marketing? And recently, I thought of going for Mass Comm in degree. But I'm not sure whether is it the right choice for me since my language it's quite bad. Im soo...... LOST!
So.. just now, I went to google search about "At what age does a girl stop growing taller". YES! I actually google it! haha.. And I found out that mostly girls stop growing by the age of 16/18 and some said it depends when you start puberty and by 2/3 years later a girl will stop growing. And some even said that we can still grow taller after the age of 18 till 20 but very little. After reading it, well... at least it ald give me a small hope on it. :) I still have the chance to grow. I meant better than nothing. :) Im actually very short and I hate it! So yeah.. like I said.. Words can't describe how you feel when you just found out that you still have the chance to chase ur dreams. And this time, I'll never let go of it! I'll try my best. Do whatever and I can do even thought that's just a very small chances of growing. But still, I gotta appreciate it! :) I'm just trying not to live my life with regrets.
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| Don't let dreams Always be dreams |
Toodles!
